My eyes are now open to this older version of my middle. Several times throughout our day I am caught off guard by his actions, words, and mannerisms. It is as if they should belong to my oldest not him. The most endearing is when he "finds his brave" and wears it like a cape to be put off and on as needed.
As I simultaneously push the littlest on the swing, chat with other Moms, shoot a frame and watch him I hear the call for help. He has discovered the pole and in a moment of finding his brave he's ready to slide down for the first time. With my hand on his tush down he goes and big smiles. We repeat this cycle of swing, chat, snap, watch, slide until we don't.
In an instant his brave has left him and what was just an accomplishment is now a fear. Despite the contradiction of the situation I understand. How many times have I had to find my brave over and over again in the same situation?
So, with an audience he weighs abandoning the pole or finding his brave and trying again. Its in this moment that I know I don't want him to be fearless in life. There is nothing wrong with knowing our boundaries and being uncomfortable when we push against them. The act of having to look within to find our brave is what opens our heart and makes us stronger. I want that for him. I want that for me.
It is in the discomfort of uncertainty, it is in the shadow of fear that we find our brave and grow.
This post is my contribution to Cherish This Day. Follow the link to see the full collaboration.