This post has been brewing in my mind for weeks now and it seemed only fitting on International Women's Day to finally share it even if the day only has less than an hour left.
A little over a month ago a friend asked if she could come into my home and photograph me & my family.
Knowing that she is also passionate about storytelling and authentic life it was an easy yes.
And then...
The reality of being in front of the camera hit me.
I tell my clients, my friends, pretty much anyone who can hear me, that no matter how hard it feels to get in front of a camera, it is even more important to do so. To leave proof that you were part of your family's story is the greatest gift you can give the ones you love.
And while I believe this in my bones the thought of being on the other side of the lens still made my stomach turn.
But there comes a time where it is time to walk the talk and mine happened to be this very ordinary Sunday morning.
I had barely dried my hair when the doorbell rang and Jessica walked in with her camera.
Here is some of what she captured...
Even though it was extremely difficult for me to get in front of a camera, it was more important that I did it. To leave proof that I am part of this story is the greatest gift I can give my boys.
My first time through the gallery I swallowed hard and saw all my flaws. The lipstick I forgot to put on. The pounds that have come from neglect of my well being. My lack of style because I put on what I wear every other weekend. And it was hard. No lies here. I'm not happy with my physical self and all my insecurities were on high alert.
BUT then it was time to go through the gallery a second time. I let go of my negative self talk and instead made the choice to see the good.
I smiled because what I saw this time was far more important than what I saw the first time.
I saw the way my boys look at me. I saw my own motherhood in motion. I saw how I make them smile. I saw the way I love them. And well, that was the greatest gift I could have given myself.
And here's the thing. It's the greatest gift you can give yourself. I'm learning that no matter the number on the scale or the situation we are in we all have this tape of insecurities we play in our head.
And getting in front of the camera, especially when I ask you to strip away picture perfect and simply come as you are is the most vulnerable thing you can do. I know this because I have now asked it of myself. I will continue to ask this of you because through the vulnerability is beauty.
I am passionate about showing my clients how beautiful their lives are. How the ordinary is simply extraordinary.
Well, now I've been given that same gift and I believe it that much more.
Thank you to Jessica for helping me see the good. I'll be sharing more about this experience and more of our session so stay tuned.